Differ
by twenty-one clouds
Summary: He really shouldn't have fought back that one day. He had endured so, so long, if only he could've endured just a little bit more, he probably wouldn't have turned out like this: Sawada Tsunayoshi, also known as 'The Berserker'.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi! Read my end note, please? :))**

* * *

 **I**

 _'_ _Am I dead?'_

In an endlessly white room, there lays a clear, glass cube. A child can be seen sitting there, hugging his knees and gently waking. As his eyes fully-opened, he unblinkingly stared off into space, into the absolute white darkness. He slowly smiled at the air, at the nothingness. Closing his eyes, he ventured back to his deep slumber.

* * *

"Am I dead?" was the first thing he let his mouth utter. And he realized- he had just spoken. Clearly voice still intact.

He wasn't dead.

Sighing in obvious irritation, he looked around and couldn't help but feel like puking.

 _White._ White, white everywhere. It was starting to get absolutely blinding.

Oh how much he hates white.

Why was he still alive anyway? He was so sure that that rusted pole staked through his heart.

* * *

Tsuna was on his way to Namimori Middle School. Though the sky was crowdingly cloudy, the sun was awfully high as well. He looked up and tried his best to gaze at the heavens. He couldn't help but squint and automatically shield his wide brown orbs with his right arm.

 _'…_ _Too bright…'_ the petite male thought.

Though he was smaller than an average teenager his age, he certainly didn't look like one to be messed with. He was wearing his uniform quite sluggishly. His white crumpled polo was untucked and his tie looked like it was trying its best just to stay in knot. His hair was a wild mess of unruly brown, spikes pointing to every possible direction. Bandages, cuts and bruises covered a part of his face and an entirety of his arms. With his bag slung carelessly on his shoulder he continued his painstakingly slow pace to Namimori-chuu.

He continued on his way, mentally preparing himself for another onslaught of challengers who just came out of nowhere and demanded he fight them. He tried to refuse, and not have to fight, really. It's not like it was his intention to be the 'guy to beat' in the delinquent circle of this town. He was getting tired. Why didn't they challenge Hibari Kyoya instead? The disciplinary prefect was obviously the one who practically controlled the whole place. Sighing, he shook his head coming to remember the fact that that same discipline demon just suddenly attacks him at times as well.

He really shouldn't have fought back that one day. He had endured so, so long, if only he could've endured just a little bit more, he probably wouldn't have turned out like this:

Sawada Tsunayoshi, also known as 'The Berserker'.

Though if he was honest, he kinda thanked and appreciated that his nickname of some sorts did actually sound a bit cool. He was labelled as 'The Bersrker' because of how he generally acted. When one looks at Sawada Tsunayoshi, they'd think he was just spacing out or plain sleepy. However, when someone tries to physically harm him he's quick to react, his droopy eyes would go sharp and would icily glare at whoever that someone is (except for some exceptions to be seen at a later time.) and would counter-attack, he'd go 'berserk' whispers and murmurs apparently said. He respected those who would fight him alone, saying stuff about honor and stuff that he really doesn't think about at all (the reason he respects them, actually, because they have a sense of pride, which he thinks he doesn't really have, he just mostly acts impulsively anyway). There are some challengers though, that would attack him in large groups, he dislikes dealing with those groups, it's not like he had faced a group he couldn't handle before, but bandages and first-aid materials costs a lot, damn.

Tsuna was just contemplating on how meaningless his life had become filled with nothing but fights, barely passing grades, and a very huge lack of people in his life -yes, Sawada Tsunayoshi's friend count has been at zero ever since- when he remembered how exactly he turned out like this. Before, when he was much younger his failure at making friends had been caused by his inability to do absolutely anything correctly. Ah yes, he so-clearly remembers his 'Dame-Tsuna' days. Being 'Dame-Tsuna' sucked, really. Tripping for more than eight times a day, completely failing all his subjects, getting bullied, getting bullied all the time, going home with tears and bruises all the time. It really, really, really sucked. He just took it all in as the years went by. That one day though, he didn't know he could punch like that until he did.

It was supposed to be an ordinary day, he mused. Right on schedule, he was at the back of the school ready to receive his beating for being so 'dame' and because the pack of larger boys his age needed money to go and play at the arcade. After the usual sneers and jeers at his worthlessness, they started punching him. The first punch was directly to his gut. He took that punch to the gut everyday but he still felt his knees wobble, and he spiralled to the ground clutching his aching middle. Next would be the kicks the three boys would give him all at the same time. His legs, the back of his head (and sometimes to the face too), the middle he was still clutching. Tsuna would never in his whole life forget the mantra he endlessly used to chant in his mind, _'It will all be over soon. It will all be over soon. It will all be over soon.'_.

Then the bully said something about his mom. The _fucking_ piece of _shit_ actually had the gall to _insult_ Sawada Nana, the only good person in Tsuna's world, the only person there for him. Sawada Nana was the only reason he was still alive. Heck, his mom was the only reason he hadn't committed suicide at that time yet.

After that comment though, he could only vaguely remembered everything else that happened. He had somehow stood up and punched the leader of the bullies so hard that it left a mark on his face and did almost the same to the two others. It was weird really, he could remember the other two guys throwing him punches but he had been able to dodge, much sooner he realized he acted _purely on instinct. Intuition, perhaps?_

He started learning how to fight after that. He just knew he would encounter the same situation in the near future. So, after that little scuffle with the - he belatedly discovered- _small fry_ bullies, more came after him. His everyday beating turned into everyday fighting until one day, this gang (a particularly large, rising in the ranks gang) had targeted him. By that time though, Tsuna decided that he shouldn't just keep on fighting, his mom had practically _pleaded_ him to stop the other day he went home bloodied. He tried to reason out with them, saying that he was done with the fighting, and had accidentally slipped out about his mom. That slip-up was the biggest mistake of his life. Alas, the gang all started saying shit about his mom.

All hell broke loose after that. He went berserk and annihilated the whole gang. News spread fast in a relatively small town like Namimori.

'Dame-Tsuna' became 'The Berserker' overnight.

When Sawada Nana had heard of this, she was furious, silently so. She was so disappointed and the look in her eyes when she looked at her son made him feel so devastated. He never saw her so mad before. Sawada Nana did not scream at him, nor did she slap him. All she did was look at him, the bright light in her eyes completely replaced by the darkest glare he's ever seen. He tried to apologize and explain. She didn't listen. At that point in time Sawada Tsunayoshi didn't know what to do with his life anymore. The one person who cares for him, who loves him, the only light to his dim life had shut off.

Sawada Nana flew to Italy a few weeks later and hasn't come back since.

With yet another exasperated sigh, Tsuna kicked a pebble that had found its way in his. Sometimes, like now, he'd think about how he would probably still be everyone's favourite gopher if not for that event of his life. Though he wasn't bullied anymore, no one even _dared_ to, it was all technically still the same as before. Sure, he wasn't 'Dame' anymore. The battles he got into helped him a whole lot. The routine of go to school alone, eat lunch alone, fight some stranger, fight Hibari Kyoya sometimes (a lot of pain and muscle ache included in this package), and finally go home, once again, _alone._ Still no friends, no father, and well, no mother as well, yeah. The only difference now is that he finds himself not really caring anymore.

He doesn't need any other people in his life.

He was fairly close to school, the thought entered his mind as a tiny little meow caught his attention. His eyes, still droopy and hazy quickly blinked to life as he heard a loud honk approaching.

Huge truck.

Meowing cat.

Truck.

Cat.

 _Shit._

Going into a sprint, he scooped up the cat which refused to move and they landed safely on the other side. There were more 'meows' echoing, albeit much weaker. Lady Luck apparently hated him today. The cat didn't want to move because of her new born kittens. And why, in tarnation's hell were those kittens laying somewhere _not_ between the large space where even if the tuck passed by they wouldn't be harmed? Lady Luck absolutely _loathed_ him today.

Just as he reached the little kitten and scooped them into his bruised arms, the huge truck suddenly swerved and missed him and the unlucky kittens. Tsuna let out a sigh of relief until— _pain_. He could barely feel a thing when his dull eyes pinpointed the source of the pain causing numbness. His polo had blood splattered all over, continuously flowing, dripping down to the floor. What was that metal thing that had speared him through his heart? A _fucking_ pole with a pointed edge? Seriously? He barely registered many facts as he was falling to the ground; the alarmed shout of some person, the kittens he had saved wailing(?) at his feet, and the clacking sounds of numerous metal poles all around him.

All he could think was, _' So I'm going to die now, huh. '_

* * *

Tsuna faintly winced at the memory of the pole stabbing through his heart. But what the hell had just happened? He's supposed to be dead.

"Why the hell am I still alive?" he muttered in monotone, staring at the white sheets all around him.

 _-To be continued(?)_ -

* * *

 **Soooooo. This was something cooped up in my files for quite some time now. It wasn't originally supposed to be like this, but yeah. I just wanted to know if this story can become something good...? _Should I Continue this?_**

 **((I have so other on-going stories but this has been in my laptop for a reaaallly long time. ))**


	2. Chapter 2

**Because of people with beautiful souls who faved, followed, and to those nine people who reviewed(angels, really.), I've decided to continue this thing. So, here's chapter two.**

* * *

 **II**

Staring at the ceiling, Tsuna still couldn't sleep even a single wink.

 _"_ _You were incredibly lucky! The pole barely missed your heart or any vital part!"_

 _That's impossible, Lady Luck abhored and still does abhor me for all my life. I know my body. I'm sure that my heart was hit_. He couldn't help but think of it. He was, no, is sure. That rusted pole with a pointed end really did go through his heart. His mind couldn't help but repeatedly ask _How_ , how is he still breathing?

Sighing heavily, he tried to drift off to sleep again when the door opened with a ' _click'_. In came a man with short, rather spiky hair wearing an expensive looking suit. Tsuna thought he looked familiar, maybe he saw him somewhere? He really couldn't place who this man is, though. The man easily walked to his bed and slipped by the once empty chair beside it. Seeing as the now labelled stranger in Tsuna's mind was about to talk, he beat him to it,

"Who are you?"

As soon as the words left his mouth, he had to raise his eyebrows at the man's expression. He looked absolutely baffled, like he couldn't believe Tsuna just asked him that question. Tsuna belatedly realized the silence had gone for a second too long. He asked a very legitimate question after all. Feeling vaguely irritated, he tried again.

"Excuse me, but who are you?"

"You don't remember me?" the stranger said, seemingly getting out of a trance but still incredibly confused. Tsuna's face fell flat. If anyone had the right to be confused right now, it was him. First, he gets struck by a pole but miraculously lives, and now a guy he may have possibly seen before is talking to him as if he's crazy for _not_ remembering the face of every human he may have encountered?

Leaning on the propped up pillows on his horrid squeaky hospital bed, he answered in a completely bored, and maybe just a tiny bit sarcastic voice, "I don't, Mister."

And the now addressed Mister's face ultimately fell. Tsuna couldn't help but just fall into more confusion. Why is this _stranger_ , this _Mister_ so upset? Had he done something incredible for him before? At that, Tsuna tried to search his memories. Nothing really came to mind besides the fact that he suddenly felt so tired and that he desperately needs to get some sleep _now_.

Apparently, the mister still has some business with him.

"You really don't remember me at all?" oddly, the mister's voice sounded so depressed now.

God, Tsuna was just so tired.

"If it helps, I think you look familiar. Have we met somewhere or something?"

The Mister didn't answer. In fact, he totally tuned Tsuna's words out as he looked to be in deep thought. He even placed a hand on his chin. Tsuna effectively concluded that he now hates this man.

Sighing, he started to say, "Look, I'm really tired and-"

"My name is Mitsu. I'm part of an agency which caters to children living alone." 'Mitsu' said, suddenly sounding all business-like. Tsuna thought the man looked a little guilty. He shrugged the thought off. Why would this Mitsu guy be guilty, anyway? However, Tsuna couldn't bring himself to believe the guy's words either. Maybe that's why he looked a bit guilty. _He's lying_. An agency that caters to children -god forsake, he just basically called Tsuna a 'child' didn't he?- living alone? Tsuna couldn't help but snort. _How ridiculous_. If so, then why did this agency only come now? And how was this agency even supposed to just suddenly know that fact about him. He's been living alone for a pretty long time now, why only now? Not like he ever wanted it. Living all alone _is_ quite convenient. He only had to care for one person, himself.

Looking at Mitsu's eyes, Tsuna replied, "I'm perfectly fine living by myself, Mitsu- _san_. I don't need any help. Now, if you mind I need to get some sleep."

He dismissed the discussion then and there laying fully on the bed and turning to face his back to the agency person. Closing his eyes, he vaguely heard the sound of shuffling feet before finally drifting to sleep.

* * *

 _Tsuna looked all around him. Endless white. He couldn't even see the end of wherever he was. Tsuna tried to recall what had happened...but the last thing he remembers is that weird conversation he had with the Mistu-guy before sleeping...wait, so he's sleeping._

 _"This is a dream?" he said aloud, and whoa, hearing his voice reverbrate through the whole endless dimension made him shiver._

 _This dream feels so real._

 _He frowned. Even in dreams, his life was seemingly left empty. So completel void of anything. Wait, would his whole dream consist of him just standing in this white space? How lame. Maybe he should walk around._

 _After several paces, he finally saw something. What the hell is this thing?_

 _Tsuna approached the gargantuan glass cube. He tried knocking on the glass with his fists. Naturally, it was hard, it was solid and it was really here. What was weird though, was that when he knocked on the glass, there was no sound at all. Circling around the glass cube, he realized that his footsteps wasn't really creating any sound either. Trying to get a better look inside the cube, he stuck his face closer and scanned the thing. He was about to give up when he noticed a little tuft of brown. Studying it, he learned it wasn't actually an 'it' but a person. A small child. He was hugging his legs and his head was buried in between his knees._

 _As if noticing Tsuna's stare, the child's head slowly turned up to meet his. Brown met brown, and Tsuna stopped breathing._

 _That's him, right? Just, a him when he was much younger._

 _The child-him spoke._

 _"You're welcome. Life is precious, you know?"_

* * *

 _What?_

Tsuna immediately thought as his eyes snapped open. What was that dream? It felt so real. And what was up with the child-him, why the 'You're welcome.'. Groaning, he sat up and found out he wasn't alone.

Okay. Why is one of his classmates here?

"How do you feel...Sawada...kun?"

"I'm fine..." Tsuna searched his memories to remember her name, "Sasagawa Kyoko-san."

"Kyoko is fine, Sawada-kun." the orange haired girl said politely.

"Why are you here?" Tsuna asked bluntly. Well.

Sasagawa Kyoko visibly flinched for a moment before becoming Ms. Bright-and-Happy-Full-of-Sparkles-and-Positive-Energy. Ah, Tsuna fully remembered who this girl is. The so-called 'Madonna' of the school.

"It's good to see you're okay now. Actually, it was me and Onii-san who brought you here. We...saw what happened. Onii-san was supposed to come and check up on you too, but he still has to finish his club activity." She explained, looking down trodden.

Tsuna looked out the window and saw the sun setting. Guess, he was absent in class today. He really didn't care much. Turning to look at the girl, he registered the fact that people from his school saw him throw his life away to save a family of kittens. _Great._ Sasagawa Kyoko isn't leaving. What else does she need? She already played her role as the concerned citizen, technically, classmate.

...Should he thank her? She and her brother brought him to the hospital after all. On the other hand, he really didn't ask for it. He was also completely fine with the concept of dying. Mentally shrugging, he decided to return the polite-ness.

"Thank you...to you and your brother for bringing me here. But you really didn't have to visit me. I'm okay." he said gazing at her eyes, and a pang of guilt _almost_ struck him. Her eyes were practically screaming 'concerned' it looked so genuine Tsuna _almost_ believed it. He wouldn't, wasn't, he really just can't actually _believe_ in other people anymore.

Feeling uncomfortable, Tsuna faked a yawn. Thankfully, it was effective and Sasagawa Kyoko bid her goodbye.

* * *

The sky was already dark when Tsuna started walking back to his...house. He didn't dare call the place _home_ anymore. As he reached it, he froze. His bored look immediately shifted to a cold one. What could he have possibly have done to have a bunch of men in suits standing guard by his house? Were these men in suits part of a new gang in town? Or maybe a completely new gang that decided to destroy him? Eyes sharpening, he slowly continued walking to his house.

He reached his front door without any complications. The men even parted to give him way when they noticed him. He looked back at the suspicious group, but they were just all standing still.

 _Weird._

Fishing his keys out of his pocket, he held the door knob for a sec and realized he didn't need the keys. The front door was open. Tsuna debated on whether he should run away as fast as he can-who knows what those men put in his house-or to hell with it and go in. As per usual, he acted impulsively and turned the door knob.

Upon opening the door, his eyes traced to a person about to come out of the kitchen. Pivoting his foot, he leapt to get in front of the person and threw a punch...only, his fist was caught by a much larger hand.

And what, exactly is this Mitsu-guy doing in his house? Hadn't he clearly stated his opposition to the 'help' they were most probably going to offer?

Lowering his fist and letting it fall to his side, Tsuna started, "Listen, Mitsu-san. As I've said, I'm perfectly fine on my own. Besides, I have a practically non-existent father and a mother who left me so you can't really negotiate with anyone here about my living status...or situation. I'm not really of legal age yet, I believe you have to talk about stuff like this with my 'guardian' or something, but there's no one like that here. Please leave."

Tsuna couldn't believe he said so much. In fact, this could probably be counted as the day he talked the most and with the most people. He just really wished Mister Mistu would leave him already. He still had to mourn how incomprehensible the fact that he's still living and breathing knowing he should be dead. Oh, and that odd dream. That really odd dream.

Hearing Mistu murmur something, he tiredly raised his eyes to meet the older guy's ones.

"What was that?" _just leave already._

"Tsuna..."

 _What the-who gave him the right to-_

"...I'm actually your old man."

 _Huh?_

"What?"

Tsuna felt his brain short-circuiting at this point.

"I'm saying that I'm Sawada Iemitsu, your father."

Tsuna couldn't hide the surprise, the shock that showed on his face before his look morphed into the usual dull, bored one. Tsuna would've probably accused the man of lying if not for the gut feeling he was having that this Mitsu guy's…actually saying the truth. But…

"...still, just leave."

 _-to be continued-_

* * *

 **Not much has really happened..hmmm. I'm kinda grooving with a slow pace with this story. I'm going to say this early because some might ask, but romance in this story is...not really happening. I mean, I'm not planning to add romance. The most I would do here is probably just add some _super slight hints of romance with some particular character maybe some chapter if I feel like it'll work and won't do much harm to the story._ But irdk, so I'll just keep writing and let's all see what happens lol.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Well, this took quite some time. (and yet it's still short mygod imsorry)**

* * *

 **III**

Tsuna quietly descended to his room and immediately flopped on to his bed as soon as he could. With a resounding sigh, he tiredly rubbed at his eyelids. Head throbbing, he thanked whatever being there was up or out there that made Sawada Iemitsu quietly take his leave. Really. Tsuna just seriously wanted to rant about how today was probably the most exhausting day he's had in years. Not even bothering to change out of his now tattered clothes, he let his hands fall either side of him and land on the bed with the softest plop he could manage -being a very tired human required sleep after all. Just that…he couldn't. What? With all the things that happened today, he just felt so incredibly…bothered and restless. _Why_ exactly is his "father" here anyway? Isn't he supposed to be in Italy working on whatever he was working on? Man, he hadn't had much on his mind for such a long time that it was getting hard to take anything new that happens in. If he had to admit it to himself, he was perfectly fine with his stagnant life. There was no pressure or worry for him about anything at all. Just so…dull. But that was good. Dull was good. Having a routine set was good. He knows that that's much better than having a wrecked up life. He doesn't want that. No goal or purpose. No wish to fulfil or desire.

He desperately ignored the voice at the back of his mind that was screaming that deep down, he truly _did_ want something. At least…it was _did_. Meaning, that was just a thing of the past…there's nothing he really desires now….right?

Groaning in frustration, he buried his face in his pillow and did his very best to clear his mind.

 _God just let me sleep._

* * *

 _"_ _How was it? Were you able to talk to him about it?"_

 _"_ _I'm sorry, Nono. He looked really tired and kicked me out of the house."_

A short laugh was heard on the other line. Iemitsu let out a small chuckle of his own but frowned right after.

 _"…_ _What exactly happened, Iemitsu?"_

 _"_ _He got into some kind of accident today…and when I went to talk to him when had had woke up…he didn't recognize me, Nono."_

 _"_ _He doesn't remember you, then?"_

 _"_ _I…yes. He doesn't..but going back to the…."_

 _"…_ _Is he capable, you think?"_

 _"_ _I'm not sure but…yes. Yes, Nono. I can complete this mission."_

The call ended and Iemitsu wasn't really quite sure how exactly he was supposed to accomplish this certain mission.

* * *

Tsuna woke up glaring at the dark sky. He always wondered why he always woke up at ungodly hours for no reason. He thought that the mental exhaustion he felt would be enough to let him enjoy more of one of the few pleasures in his life which was sleep. Thankfully, he didn't dream of the now dubbed "White room" and didn't have to think about it and let it mess with his mind today. After taking a quick bath and wash-up he proceeded to try and create breakfast for a change. One spectacular failure later, he was on his way to the convenience store.

* * *

 _It really is an ungodly hour…_

Tsuna mused as he noticed how empty the streets are. Entering the convenience store he frequents, he wasn't really surprised to know he wasn't the only customer…what did catch his attention were the military green uniforms they were wearing. Tsuna thought that maybe they were from some school far from Namimori…it would be weird though. Why bother to go to such a far convenience store then? Surely, wherever they came from had convenience stores as well. Convenience stores are literally everywhere. Lost in his random train of thoughts he didn't realize he was blocking the entrance until—

"Outta the way." The student with blond hair said. If Tsuna was asked though, he'd describe the guy as 'a dude with a scar across his nose and pointy teeth was that possibly genetic?'

Just as Tsuna was about to move away, the guy beside the blond talked.

"Are you the 'Berserker'?" Tsuna turned to face the other guy wearing a beanie and glasses but his eyes immediately went to the small lines on the unusually pale-skinned person's face.

"…Is that a barcode?"

"…"

"This guy is the 'Berserker'?" pointy-teeth eventually asked. (Tsuna labelled him as such.)

As the two continued talking about 'Berserker' –him- Tsuna finally broke free of the random-thought-train and registered that these guys could possibly be part of another gang that wanted to fight him. They certainly looked the part. Tsuna decided that he was hungry and that it was still a bit early for a fight today…they also didn't answer his question.

"I'm not." The brunette interjected and the two looked at him all too quickly. Tsuna kept his face as he normally would. Eyes dull, and posture lax. The pair stared at him for a long while before pointy-teeth clicked his tongue and walked past him. Barcode (Tsuna's label) looked at him for a bit longer before walking past him as well.

"How are we supposed to look for this berserk guy anyway?"

"We should ask around."

Was all that Tsuna heard as they went out of the store. Tsuna was finally able to set out what he was supposed to do.

* * *

Finally having had his fill of his convenience store breakfast, Tsuna went back home to change into his uniform. That done, he was off to school only to come face to face with Sawada Iemitsu standing just outside his gate. And damn. Tsuna remembered everything he cleared out of his mind last night.

"Tsuna, can we talk?" Iemitsu asked, trying for a light smile.

Tsuna's face still blank as ever.

"I'm on my way to school."

"But-"

"We can talk later…when school's over." Then he started walking to school.

Tsuna's still not sure if what he just said was really going to happen or not. He just didn't want to deal with Sawada Iemitsu right now. And if he had to later…then at least it would be done and over with. His life would return to its stagnant form after the talk…he realized he really was hoping that the talk was just some kind of fatherly…fatherly what? Exactly? Since he was labelling since this morning he decided that he would label this one as 'Fatherly Shit'. It sounded vague, yet accurate. Exactly what that person was, no, is. Sawada Iemitsu is his father, but he really wasn't at the same time. In the past, Tsuna felt some anger towards him. But now…he felt nothing. Just. Nothing. Like everything else, he just didn't care. About it. About him. All he's ever done for Tsuna was send him money for his basic needs. And after some thinking, Tsuna realized that that's really all there was to a father-son relationship. Well, to him at least.

As Tsuna entered his school, he heard a lot of noise. Some kind of commotion going on today? And here he thought having Hibari Kyoya ruling this school kept away any kind of disturbance. Concluding he didn't want to take part in any of whatever going on, he simultaneously decided he would skip first period and find some place to take a short nap…if he could.

He did not expect loud shouts streaming from above him along with a person falling from the sky…who would probably land so very, _so very near him._

 _Is stagnant water supposed to get ripples every once in a while?_

 _-to be continued-_

* * *

 **so...hm. i guess this is au-ish...then. i'm still keeping up with the slow pace(both on the story and on the updates. ohforgiveme). I was supposed to edit and post this earlier but then-Tokyo Ghoul. I finally got the time to watch and read(i wanted to for so long but i had to finish other anime and manga then finally) this, this, i can't even-so, now i'm waiting for :re to update. AND OHMYGOD I AM SO SCARED FIRST DAY OF COLLEGE IS SO CLOSE AAAAAHHHH.**

 **Anyway, sorry for the late update again. Share me your thoughts?**


	4. Chapter 4

**Er. Hi. Uhm. So. Yes.**

* * *

 **IV**

 _Falling, falling, falling._

Yamamoto Takeshi could feel the air whoosh through his lungs, could feel the rustle of his clothes.

 _So this is what "not having your feet on the ground" feels like._

* * *

Yamamoto Takeshi felt numb. Was it only ever right in this moment that he felt this way? He had this notion that maybe he was always numb. And that maybe, he just fooled himself into not noticing it.

 _Fool._

He was the fool who eternally smiled and laughed everything off. It was easier that way, he honestly thought.

The cries and voices of the people gathered on the rooftop who witnessed his fall got tinier and tinier until suddenly it all just - faded. Gone. Silence.

Though not hearing anything, the feeling of the wind slicing through his skin still felt oh so harsh, but he didn't really have any reason to go complaining now did he? This was what he asked for, after all. No one had told him to do this, to jump from Namimori's rooftop. He decided this on his own.

As he was contemplating, he came to an abrupt realization. Why did his fall seem so...long? Was the building that high?

Opening his eyes, he came face-to-face with the blue, blue sky spotted with loitering solitary clouds.

"Ugh..."

Did the ground just talk?

Finally taking in some facts that a) His fall had been over for quite some time now. b) His body isn't splattered and all gore-y looking on the ground. c) He's still clearly alive and finally, d) Soil or any other land forms did _not_ grunt in pain.

"Care to get off me?" said a voice Yamamoto felt was familiar but really wasn't.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry." Yamamoto instinctively replied.

Yamamoto made a move to stand up, and only then did he feel his knees give up. Once again he found himself laying on the ground. Ignoring the sudden jolt of his nerves, he craned his head to see...someone he wasn't expecting.

* * *

Tsuna could feel the aching of his joints as he tried to sit in an upright position. Really, Lady Luck never gave him a break did she? Feeling someone's gaze on him, he looked down to see the resident baseball star, Yamamoto Takeshi, looking up at him with a mildly conflicted expression.

"What?" Tsuna said, his tone neutral.

"Uh..." Yamamoto Takeshi started, clearly unsure of what to say.

In all honesty, Tsuna didn't really know what to say in this certain situation either. So, instead of letting the awkward silence hang in the air, he forced himself to stand up(though his body still ached here and there, man, tall guys really do weigh more) he turned and walked away. He ignored Yamamoto Takeshi's _"Wait!"_ , because really, Tsuna didn't see any reason they should talk.

* * *

Tsuna decided to skip second period as well, which was actually a normal thing. What wasn't a normal thing, was that Yamamoto Takeshi had also decided to skip second period and plopped down next to Tsuna under a pretty large tree behind the school.

"Yo, Tsuna!" Yamamoto Takeshi greeted and Tsuna was slightly surprised by the friendliness in the other's tone. Also, who had given the baseball guy permission to call him "Tsuna"?

Unsure of how to reply, Tsuna simply settled on a half-shrug-half-yawn before saying, "What do you need from me?"

 _Let's just get this over with._ Tsuna thought

Yamamoto's smile faltered for just a millisecond before he gave Tsuna a small grin.

"I just wanted to thank you for this morning...and to ask why-" Yamamoto wasn't able to continue his sentence as Tsuna cut him off.

"Don't thank me."

"What?" Yamamoto turned to look at Tsuna with eyes that Tsuna never really saw on the famed baseball prodigy.

With a barely audible sigh, Tsuna explained. "You don't need to thank me. I just so happened to be near the spot you were about to splatter on. That's all."

"But you did. Kept me alive, I mean." Yamamoto countered.

"Huh?" was Tsuna's highly intelligent answer.

"You just so happened to be in the area. You could've just side-stepped and let me go splat on the floor. I'm sure you could avoid colliding with my fall. I heard some guys talking about your fight the other day you know!" Yamamoto said, an eerie cheerful lilt in his voice on the last sentence. Why did he sound happy about hearing one of Tsuna's encounters?

Tsuna inwardly groaned. He didn't know there were people who saw his fights. He always asked to fight on secluded areas after all.

"It was on instinct." Tsuna said, trying to make sense of his own actions. It really was _just instinct_ right? Nothing more.

"So, why did you save me?" Yamamoto continued, and Tsuna felt a spike of irritation (wow, he felt a _spike_ of irritation, that's saying something) at how Yamamoto just ignored his earlier statement.

"Like I said, it was just purely because of my instinct." Yamamoto just hummed in response.

Though Tsuna really, really didn't want to ask this question, he felt kinda obligated to. And again, wow, Tsuna hadn't felt obligated to do anything for a long time now.

"Why'd you jump?" suddenly, the air seemed tense, but Tsuna already expected that as Yamamoto looked away to the side.

The silence stretches for a moment. Tsuna doesn't even try to say a word.

Yamamoto Takeshi sighs, a longsuffering one no Namimori student is accustomed to seeing it done by him. Tsuna looks at his face, then down to his arm, and squinting his eyes, he looks up at the tree's rusting leaves.

"I get into a lot of fights." the brunette started, and Yamamoto looks surprised by his sudden words.

"I get a lot of broken bones." the petite male continued, though he notices how Takeshi's shoulders tensed.

"But it all healed with time." Tsuna finished, and he opens his eyes to see Yamomoto Takeshi just staring at him, mouth slightly agape.

"You shouldn't burden the people who care for you." Tsuna realized he had said a bunch of one-liners but no one really cared so why should he, and Yamamoto's mouth opened even wider.

Tsuna felt like he had done something wrong. Who was he to tell something like that to Yamamoto Takeshi? He was just passing on one of his old life principles. Wasn't much of a big deal, right? _Old_ life principle because he had no one he could possibly burden. Tsuna had actually mentally listed this fact down under 'pros'.

 _Yup. Looks like this is over._ Tsuna said to himself as he carefully stood up and dusted himself off. Yamamoto Takeshi had shut up, and Tsuna doesn't want to delve into a conversation with him any longer.

As Tsuna continued walking out of school, he couldn't shake off the feeling that he did something seriously wrong. He totally wasn't acting like himself when he was conversing with Yamamoto Takeshi.

 _Why did I do that?_

 _Why did I say that?_

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _I really didn't have to._

Cringing at his own actions, (why did he feel compelled to do something he didn't have to?)Tsuna decided to do his best to forget about the whole Yamamoto Takeshi debacle. He probably wouldn't have to deal with the tall male anymore after today. Probably. So, it was all fine.

 _Stick to the routine._

The line echoed in his mind all the way to the house he stays in.

* * *

Apparently, because of the whole Yama-blah-blah-debacle, he forgot about the person currently sitting in front of him in his living room. Why did he have to forget? Why did no single challenger or gang come after him today? (no, seriously, the challengers were getting lesser by the day) Why couldn't he have just gone somewhere else? _Why?_

"Tsuna." Sawada Iemitsu said with a serious and calm expression on his face.

Tsuna just stared at him and waited for the man to continue. Continue the man did.

"I'm sorry about lying to you when we first reunited. You know, introducing myself as Mistu."

 _Reunited how? I don't even remember you._ Tsuna wanted to say it out loud, but didn't want to delay whatever his father was supposed to say. He's starving and in need to eat something, anything.

"I'm actually here to ask you...to take up a certain position in the Vongola." Iemitsu said, all seriousness and purpose in his tone.

"No." Tsuna immediately replied.

"But I haven't even explained what the Vongola is yet!" Iemitsu exclaimed, and Tsuna was distressed to notice how there was a desperate intonation to the way Iemitsu spoke his words.

"I don't want to know what it is. I'm not interested." Tsuna could just feel this real tingling in his head like blaring alarms to a burning house. The tingling had, well, never failed him before. He decided to follow that tingling 'til he dies.

Tsuna was about to stand up and practically run to the barely-used kitchen when Iemitsu took hold of him by his shoulders and set him back to sit down on the worn-out couch.

"Please. Listen." Iemitsu firmly said, and it wasn't like Tsuna was given any choices, so he pulls Iemitsu's hands away from where he was tightly gripping on Tsuna shoulders and waits for the man to explain.

 _-to be continued-_

* * *

 **I apologize for the grammatical errors. I'm so wrecked. ((FORCESCHARACTERDEVELOPMENTBCICANNOT)).Guess the position Iemitsu wants Tsuna to take? ((man, I am so lame at this and everything)). Uhm...I'll update when I can. College is wapow.**


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